Embrace the Mess.
Embrace the Mess. That’s the conversation I had with my life coach Kim last week. Even now, I’m still trying to figure out what exactly that means for me right now. Embrace the Mess.
Life’s been messy before and I know it will be messy again. This time it just feels different. I moved back ‘home’ from being out west for three years. And I’ve done a lot of reflecting and have noticed what that time really meant to me. It was a necessary escape … it was the time I needed to grow into myself, let some new expectations develop, new dreams to be dreamed, shed some attachments and see myself beyond all the roles. And the things that were created from that time are some of my favorite parts of me. They are the parts that make me feel most like myself.
One thing I can’t deny is that I still can’t help but to want it ALL … AND to want it now.
I laugh when I read this quote from writer and filmmaker Nora Ephron, who recently passed away, and all I can do is laugh.
“Maybe young women don’t wonder whether they can have it all any longer, but in case any of you are wondering, of course, you can have it all. What are you going to do? Everything, is my guess. It will be a little messy, but embrace the mess. It will be complicated, but rejoice in the complications. It will not be anything like what you think it will be like, but surprises are good for you. And don’t be frightened: you can always change your mind. I know: I’ve had four careers and three husbands.”
How can you not laugh? Even in the midst of what feels like the Tasmanian devil spinning in circles through all areas of my life, I am laughing.
I moved back and am living with family member, which is great because I love my family and I have a place to live and don’t have to rush into the first available place … and it’s also very stressful. It’s not my own space. It’s not exactly close to work. I want to feel settled and that is a challenge when living out of boxes and suitcases. It’s a challenge to adjust to living with someone when you’ve lived on your own for over 10 years and throw in two dogs. Ok, I’m done whining.
The expectations I had for myself are kicking in … the life I thought I’d be living. Embrace the Mess. There are changes happening and whether I want to admit it or not, I’ve chosen them. And in many ways, things have turned out better than I originally imagined.
When the mess becomes a bit too much, I’m able to retreat to my yoga mat to create a bigger mess, tear down the walls, face the vulnerability, sweat buckets and still remain standing with sheer determination, strength and a connection to who I am. I’m a mess on my mat and I’m more than ok with it because that’s where I’m able to fully embrace it, breathe into it and finally see beyond it.
The mess is my life.
What are you waiting for? Embrace the Mess.